The stress of scrapping a song last minute
Updated: Sep 11, 2019
When I started planning this project I knew I wanted 4 songs on each "side" of it. A pop side with EDM influence and a Jazz side with RnB influence. I had my 4 songs done and ready and one of them just didn't sit right with me. It wasn't that the song was bad because I genuinely loved the way I wrote it and what It means to me, it just didn't carry the same vibe through it like the others did. So I decided to scrap the song. This decision felt good but also flung me into a state of mental peril at the same time. How was I going to replace this song? Can I be creative on a deadline? Where will I find a beat? Will people be able to tell I rushed? I started to get so wrapped up in my own head of doubts and anxieties and this went on for about a week. After that week of self torture I was lucky enough to attend the Ariana Grande concert in DC. The set design, choreo, outfits and vocals kicked my inspiration in over drive! All of the set designs were based around space and aesthetically pleasing planetary visuals. While watching her perform I came to the realization that I literally write songs all the time? This is my shit? Why am I so stressed? After 3 more drinks and a 2 hour wait for a LYFT later I had written an entire song. This random out pouring was of course fueled by whiskey gingers, pop culture, and the idea of being with an "interstellar" soul. The idea that someone can match your energy so well that you feel like you've created your own world between everything else. I love it so much. I can only look back at this and laugh and I'm sure I will when I hear the song and sing along to it. I had gotten so wrapped up in what I look like, sound like, what others think about it and had entirely forgotten to just be myself. Which sounds so cliche but whatever, I'm not here to sugar coat this. I make my music in accords to what I would like to listen to in my own room, shower, car and staying mindful of that rule is the only way I can stay genuine. I want to stay genuine in a way that resonates, in a way where others who agree will feel comfortable screaming the words.
Interstellar will be out soon.
Can't wait to listen to my own inside joke with myself..
M
<33
